Archive | August 2012

Holding Pattern and Motivation

I am in a strange holding pattern.  Since starting Weight Watchers I have actually gained more weight.  Only I can accomplish that!  I lost 30 pounds before starting and I’m sure I’ve hit a plateau but it’s so frustrating.  It’s time to remind myself why I want to lose this weight and restructure to kick the weight loss back in:

  1.  I want to go to Cedar Point with our little ladybug in a year or two and actually ride the rides.
  2. I want to see a concert and not stress about possibly being too big for the seats.
  3. I want to run and play with our little ladybug.
  4. I don’t want our little ladybug to be embarrassed to have me around her school and friends because I am the fattest mom in the school.
  5. I don’t want to be jealous of my husband’s 100 pound weight loss this year!!!
  6. I want to buy clothes in a variety of stores.
  7. I only want to buy one seat when flying.
  8. I want to reduce the pain in my feet, knees, neck, and back.
  9. I don’t want to worry if I will break the furniture or toilet seat at someones house.
  10. I want to sky dive.
  11. I want to go horseback riding.
  12. I want to kayak in the ocean.

I’m sure there are more.  I also have to be realistic and understand my back and neck might not improve enough to do some of these.  At least I can shoot for it.

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Inappropriate Questions

I started the fall semester of school today.  I am majoring in Health Information Technology and this is my first semester in the actual program.  I am a little nervous because it will be a lot of new topics whereas my previous semesters I was familiar with a lot of the content because they were classes I took twenty years ago.  It’s going to be hard to eat healthy on my school days.  I just don’t have time for lunch so I am starving when I get home.  Since we can’t have food in the classroom  I will have to eat some snacks on our breaks.


Juggling a family and school is a challenge.  I am so lucky to have help with Katie and I couldn’t do this without the help from Nana, Papa, and Mimi!!!!

It’s Friend Makin’ Monday.  Copy and paste the questions on your blog with your answers, then put the link on’s comments.  We can take a look at everyone’s responses and learn a little bit about your fellow bloggers.


1. Will you vote in the upcoming presidential election?  Yes!

2. Do you say curse words? I used to swear a lot but since becoming a mom I have tried to cut back and never swear around my daughter.

3. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Yes.  I was much younger and most likely drunk.

4. If you could choose to meet only one fellow blogger in person right now who would you choose?

5. What is the most inappropriate pick-up line that anyone has ever used on you? “I am so stressed out and I’m sure you know how to relieve my stress” and he grabs his “package”
See ya loser!

6. Do you sing in the shower?  Only if I am home alone.  But in the car I sing with Katie.

7. How often do you get drunk?  I don’t since I had my daughter.

8. Have you ever been fired from a job?  Yes, I got fired from a pizza store but I really don’t know why.

9. Were you popular in high school? I wasn’t popular but I was in orchestra and an athletic trainer so I had many friends.  But most of them were not friends that I kept in contact with after high school.

10. Who is your current celebrity crush? Kyle Chandler.  I loved him in Friday Night Lights and I was devastated when he blew up on Greys Anatomy.


Don’t forget to link your blog in the comments section.  Happy Monday Everyone!!!


SUGAR! Many of us have a love/hate relationship with sugar.  How could we not love it, we’ve been eating it in so many yummy things our whole lives.

Too much dessert!

Many foods we wouldn’t associate with sugar have a ton of sugar in them.  For example, the following food can have more sugar than you would think:

Peanut Butter (Kraft Canadian peanut butter seems to have less sugar than most American brands)

Tomato Sauce


Salad Dressing

as well as,  canned soups and vegetables  It seems impossible to get away from it.  This is where the hate part comes in, I am addicted to sugar. I know I am addicted to food in general but sugar is a huge trigger for me and my compulsive eating problems.  I have tried to cut back on sugar or even cut it out but I just can’t seem to control my consumption sometimes.  When I did the short lived juice fast I cut out sugar and did great for a couple weeks!  But, I went out to eat twice during week 3 and cheated a little with a half a dessert at each and it seemed to have triggered a monster inside me.

Sugar Monster

I have been craving sugar ever since and have given in to those urges more than I like to admit.

How do you control your sugar monster????

Friend Makin’ Mondays: In the Kitchen

A fellow blogger does this on Mondays to connect with other bloggers.  We answer a set of question and link it to her blog.  If you would like to participate please copy and answer the questions below and provide your own answers.  Then link it to my comment section and comment section.  Have fun and happy Monday!!

In the Kitchen

1. How often do you cook at home? A lot more than I used to.  All but one or two days a week.

2. Do you eat more fresh produce, frozen or canned produce? Prior to the current events in our life I rarely ate veggies but when I did it was canned.  Now we eat mostly eat fresh.

3. What are a few unusual staples that can always be found in your kitchen?  Low carb, high protein tortillas, Laughing cow cheese, Canadian Peanut butter (not American, has to be from Cananda), and Canadian Ketchup

4. Look in your fridge, then tell us about the healthiest thing in there. Kale for juicing and making Kale chips.

5. Now share the most unhealthy thing in it.  Little Debbie Chocolate Peanut butter bars.  I am having a new “desire” for these.

6. Do you eat leftovers? All the time but I do get sick of the same thing day after day.

7. Do you use coupons at the supermarket?  I should but no

8. How often do you try new recipes? Once a week

9. Do you make grocery lists?  Yes.  I will stick to the with the exception of a few things

10. If you could buy one food item that would magically be calorie-free, which item would you choose? Chocolate and peanut butter (that’s one food, isn’t it?)

Learning to accept the small accomplishments!

Learning to be happy with the small accomplishments!

After my devastating gain of 7 pounds last week, I really really wanted a HUGE loss this week.  Well I lost one pound.  At first I was upset because it was ONLY one pound but I am starting to realize that is a pound that I didn’t gain.  It was a stressful week so one pound is great!  I am a stress/emotional eater and I know I didn’t eat the way I wanted to.  For example, we had to take Katie to the ER because we thought she had a bladder infection.

Our first trip to an ER

If you have never seen a 3 year old get catheterized you are lucky.  It took 4 of us to hold her down while she screamed and cried.  Then afterward she was hyperventilating and shaking so bad it looked like a seizure.  She ended up not having a UTI and they figure she had a rash from diarrhea that burned when she was going to the bathroom.  We had promised Katie a chocolate shake on the way home, so of course I ordered one too at the drive through speaker.  I drank mine before we got home but Katie never touched hers because she fell asleep waiting for the shakes.  Mike carried our tired little girl in to the house to bed and of course I drank her shake without even thinking about it.

Exhausted Bug

The evil chocolate milk shake

This was a wake up call for me regarding my emotional eating.  I don’t have control over this yet!  I drank 2 milk shakes in a matter of a half hour!  That’s a lot of calories.   There is more evidence of my emotional eating, there are times I know I am eating because of stress but do nothing to change the behavior.  I will grab something to eat, usually at night and tell myself I shouldn’t eat because I am not really hungry.  I will even argue with myself but usually I still eat.  I know there are other things I could do, read, go for a walk (not an option at 2 in the morning), clean, play a video game, workout or something else to occupy my hands.  But food usually wins.  Classic emotional eating!

Put down the fork and walk away from the cake!

How did I get here?  Why do I turn to food?  What can motivate me to stop this behavior?  Can I figure all this out on my own?

These are the questions I need to think about and start unraveling the mess in my head.  A couple years ago I decided I needed a therapist that specialized in weight loss.  I called the Riverview Center in Sylvania that specializes in Anorexia, and Bulimia to see if they knew of someone that works with my kind of eating disorder and they didn’t.  I called my insurance company and my doctor but they couldn’t help.  I turned to the internet and couldn’t find anyone.  No one can help me find what I am looking for.  I have been to therapists before but they just don’t get it, I want someone who works with people on a daily basis with my type of eating disorder.  So, I will try this on my own and see where I get.

I will be putting a picture of myself, plus a picture of my family on the refrigerator to remind me why I am doing all of this.  Hopefully, this will help me make better decisions.